In the spirit of Holiday season, here's some Judo related jokes, stolen with pride from the "WildWildWeb".

1)One Day the Devil challenged the Lord to a Judo tournament. Smiling, the Lord proclaimed, "You don't have a chance, I have Kano, Mifune, Kotani, Kimura and all the greatest players up here".
"Yes", snickered the Devil, "but I have all the referees."

2)YOU MIGHT BE A JUDO PLAYER IF...
- You think sweating builds character.
- You don t mind having more bruises than medals.
- You can get slammed on your back.....and laugh.
- You think learning to fall helps you learn to throw people.
- You think traveling to tournaments is a vacation .
- You can get thrown by a smaller player......and you don t mind.
- You think your family includes people that you re not even related to.

3) Requirements for an "11th Degree" Black Belt
Well before testing for this rank any experienced Judo teacher should have already learned these basic techniques:
- Escape from Dojo
The quick exit to avoid clean up and helping with the mats.
-Sleeper Stance
Standing at the corner of the dojo pretending to be observing the students as they sweat with exhaustion.
-Sigh of Wisdom
Sudden, forceful exhalation when a beginning student unexpectedly survives a dangerous body slam without injury.
-Crossing Fingers
A hopeful posture used when uke has been choked unconscious.
-Gift of Instruction
The act of taking credit whenever a student wins a tournament or performs a technique correctly.
- Seeing Without Seeing
The dazed look of amazement given to the student who asks a stupid question.
- Kuchi Waza (mouth technique)
Using an hour of class time to answer the stupid question while students sit on their knees in seiza.
- Must be able to change into a judogi in a phone booth at any given moment.
- Must be able to use an opponent's skill as a reason for defeat.

4) QWhy is the skeleton afraid to do break falls?
A:He just doesn’t have the guts

5) Q: When is the best season to learn Judo?
A: Just before the fall.


Nån mer som har bidrag? :-) Rob